rearranged

I had two letters from the hospital this week. The first one confused me a little as it told me that my next appointment was the date of the last appointment. I couldn't work out how I could have an appointment on a date that had already been. Then I read the rest of the letter and realised that it was a summary of the consultation we had on that date! Then later in the week another letter came from the hospital with a new date of a week on Friday, that made more sense. Hopefully our actual consultant will be well then as he was off with COVID for our last appointment. We've been looking at holidays for the year ahead. Which is nice to have something to look forward to. I think the planning part of holidays is one of my favourite parts, thinking about what we're going to do, take, etc. How far the beach is from where we are staying -is generally quite close as Zeb and I love a bit of holiday beach time, especially if it's a sandy beach. This holiday we're staying in a chalet on a holiday park, so no tents or camp sites this time round. That'll be later in the year when we go to big church day out. I'm still getting quite tired and have really struggled with headaches this last few weeks. We remembered that when I had covid before and after the vaccinations I really struggled with a mammoth headache so actually this could be more COVID related than tumour related, I was worrying that it might be tumour related and that could be bad news, but I think it's actually more likely covid related, so will go as the covid goes. Mark is now testing negative and back to normal life, not that he stopped much around the house, but he's back at work and social activities.

I struggle alot with the turned tiredness, it gets me down quite s bit how other I can manage now, just being on my feet is exhausting so print around the kitchen is hard going. I'm just used to being busy and useful and now I have to watch Mark wearing himself out doing all the busyness and wish I didn't get so tired so that I could help him out more. We'll get back to that point again in the future, I have to remind myself of that. And that's why God put us in families and partnerships, to help and suport each other as we go. Mark is good at pointing me to Jesus as well and keeping me focused on the important things. Whenever I apologise to him for being a bit useless at the moment he tells me not to apologize that that's why God made us a team. It's hard though, I want to be doing Ruth, that's who I'm used to being, feeling like I have a use, a purpose.

We've worked on ways I can do things, like having a perching stool in the kitchen, and if the folded washing it's put on the right place on our bed I can get that put away. It's little things, but sometimes you have to take the other things and count them as victories!