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Showing posts from October, 2021

clarity

I realised with the editing I probably didn't make the next lot of hospital stuff very clear. It's felt like we had to do a bit of chasing to get answers that we could have been given all at once. But you have to work in the systems I guess. So to be clear, I go into hospital on Thursday 11th November with the operation being the 12th. They hope to get me home within 2-4 days. That falls over the weekend so I guess it will be towards the end of that time period.  Having dates is good. We've been able to talk it through more with Zeb so he understands more of what will be going on. He had been starting to say things like 'they'll ring us tomorrow and we'll take you in for your operation and pick you up later'. So having more information means he is also more informed. Having dates means it's all more real. There is definitely something in there that is going to be dealt with. They are definitely cutting my head open. They are going into my brain. I mean I

whilst mums at home, the boys will roam

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As Ruthie is at home we are trying to give her breaks in the day to rest up. This week whilst I have been working, Zeb has been a busy boy. Having lots of fun at friends houses. Going to Jimmy's farm, doing activities in the woods, parking around with grandad.  Today was my turn to have some time with this little lad. And what fun we had. This morning we went out for a lovely family breakfast with Ruthie at an all you can eat premier inn breakfast place. One of our favourite things to do if we ever stay away anywhere. Then we dropped Ruthie off and walked down to the train station. We headed off on the train to Felixstowe. When we got there we walked all the way down to the beach and to Mannings amusements all the way down the prom. If any of you know Felixstowe, that is one epicly long walk for a 7 year old. Then it was time for the thing he wanted to walk to. We played indoor magical crazy golf. Safe to say he is much better than me at this game. On the way back from the golf we

blue

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Is now the colour of my hair! I've never dyed it before, always been happy to be my natural colour. Which has always been a mix of all the colours when you look right at it. Becoming more dominant with white and grey. But that's never bothered me. I've always been happy to be me. However I've decided that before I go in to hospital I'm going to shave my hair off. I want to have that control before they need to take parts off. So I thought for fun, let's go blue! I can't get a good picture so I'll try and get Mark to get one when he's home so we can share. Picture now added. Doesn't fully show the blue. Looks like I won't be shaving it having now spoken to the hospital, but that's ok. We have an admittance date (I think that's the right word) of 11th November. This is just the date they are taking me back in, then we'll get an op date. But it's a step further forward. Obviously we'd like it sooner as it means ev

slowing and waiting

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Thanks to the loan of a wheel chair I got to see the sea today. It was windy and cloudy and cold but it was the sea. And I ate ice cream. We are still waiting to hear dates and treatment. The longer it takes to hear the more I can ignore it is happening. But I don't want to be waiting, I want to be through the other side. We're noticing I'm getting slower. It's harder to find the words I need to come out of my mouth and for them to get out. Having a shower this morning seemed to take forever. I had to focus so hard on what to do. Right Ruth, you've stepped in the shower, somehow it has to get wet. How do you do that again. I'm not sure if it's the way the tumour is sitting in my brain, or reactions to some of the drugs, or lack of sleep, or combinations. Earlier today I couldn't manage to be in a room where there was one conversation happening and I wasn't even part of that conversation I was just sat in the corner. I'm not finding th

mince pies and mangoes

I will never be svelte because you know, food. I like it too much. It goes in me too much. My self control is around is not good generally. Even worse at the moment! This week has included two particularly tasty food deliveries. A lovely friend brought me round two juicy delicious mangoes. I really do love a mango but don't buy them often. They're not cheap, and you can never be sure if it's going to be a juicy good un or of you're going to catch it under ripe and disappointing. These, however, did not disappoint at all. Eat over the sink juice dribbling ripe. Yum yum. I had put some mince meat in the shopping this week coz I really fancied mince pies, it's never too early for me, and we hardly ever buy them coz my mum always home made hers so in my mind that's how they should come. However once I had the mince meat I had no energy for the baking. (Mark will tell you that my idea and thinking level is currently way above my doing level). I then had a message fro

it's oh so quiet

I guess it's going to be a little quiet around here in terms of medical news at the moment as we're just waiting for dates to be sent to us. I'm feeling ok. Probably better than I did before i went into hospital because I have lots of lovely drugs floating around my system now. Although some of those come with nice side effects! Definitely need to up the fruit and veg input! I'm finding I can't really do a lot, I'm getting tired very easily. I don't know if this is just because I've been day around a lot. Dad is coming round shortly to take me for a walk around our close, that will be the highlight of my day! I can't concentrate on much at once so am doing little bits of worddearches and sudukos and things like that where I can. Mark makes my lunch before he goes to work so that is all ready for me. He's a good un!

she's coming home, she's coming home, she's coming...

Actually she is home! I'm writing this from my very own bed having spent all night in it! There was about an hour period where they kept changing their minds if I was staying or going. I was telling them that Mark had to travel from Ipswich to get me, it wasn't just coming from round the corner so he needed time to come. And eventually the yes came! It was just as well his journey to a little while as it took the same amount of time for my discharge letter and medicine information to be ready. It is good to be back. It won't be for ages coz I still need treatment, but I'm with my boys for a bit and that is good.

my lovely lovely bruvver

I have the best brothers. I'm not sure growing up I would always have said that! I know that I sure annoyed them from time to time. But I do have the best brothers. I got to see the big one today and it was very lovely. Circumstances strange but nice to sit and chat and eat crisps. Like many families we have a family WhatsApp group. My boys and their wonderful wives and children have been keeping me amused and jolly alonged with photos, videos, life annocdotes, jokes, etc. It's made a big difference when you're stuck by yourself to have that connection to outside. Not only do I have the best brothers but they made the best choices of life partners and my niblings are incredible. I love my family!

long stretch

I got my longest stretch of hospital sleep last night. I asked for my pain killers before I settled. I was only due one lot so had them. I knew this meant they would wake me for the rest of my night time tablets and pain killers but at least I'd had some. Off I go to sleep. A little while later they come in with the rest. This time is just a flashing light, a bright light and a wheeled unit knocked into my bed! I ask if they can do my observations while they're here. Which they do. Off they go. And then... And then... And then... ... Nothing for six wonderful hours! I went straight back off to sleep and when they came for my next observations they whispered in and out again so my sleep was hardly disturbed.

healing foods

I'm going to make a big assumption here. I'm going to assume that the people who provide food to patients in a hospital have either done research or consulted research about good foods to serve to promote healing. Therefore these are the kinds of things they will pridominently offer. Based on this assumption and my research of the last week potato (specifically mash), good gravy, and custard must ask be healing foods. Mashed potato in particular as a lot of meals are something like cottage pie with a side of mashed potato!

please release me

A decision has been made. If all goes to plan they are going to send me home tomorrow sometime. The doctor's here have prodded and poked me plenty and decided that I am well enough to not need to be in hospital for care and that my operation can then be scheduled rather than emergency which has all kinds of positive implications and outcomes. I will be glad to not be in hospital. It is nice to know that I am not so bad I need cutting open immediately. There is a tinge of disappointment that treatment will be delayed slightly but I trust they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't think a good plan of action. I can't wait to squish my boys, sleep in my bed and have a decent shower! I will actually miss hospital food but am hoping I can persuade dad to a Chinese takeaway!

the night nurse

Feeling 100% on the tired scale last night I decided that early was the time to settle to sleep. Not long after settling in comes my night nurse. She's turns on the lights so I think there must be something important about to happen. No. She just tells me t he at later she'll be back with medicine. Then she asks me what the date is. Urm, couldn't care less, want to sleep. Then she starts moving my things around. Let's move these clothes off the floor. No there the washing I just haven't put in a bag they can stay there. Moves the table where I've carefully placed my drinks bottle and phone so I can reach them if I need them without moving. Just go away woman!! She left eventually. But it wasn't the only visit of the night. When she came back with medicine she did use a torch type light rather than the big one. Nice choice. Unfortunately she put it on a flashing setting. And did you know midnight is the time to take bloods and put a canulla in. With supervisi

while mum is away, the boys will play

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So as Ruth has had a day of disorganised chaos. The boys have been out and about. We have been swimming in Colchester, having fun on the flumes and crazy river. play and picnic at the park and ending the day with tea and a sleep over at grandads house. Ruth is in good hands and we are trying to keep her spirits up from afar. 

screws and nuts and extra sticky tape

I did wonder on the journey over whether the transport ambulance had a roster supply of fixing items and if we would need to stop on the way to do some fixing. It was a very jiggly rattling ride! The transport people were very lovely, kind and jolly. They had already been on several journeys that morning. We turned up at the appropriate ward in Addenbrookes to be told there was no bed for me, they were not expecting me. As they looked though my notes it turned out there was a bed two days ago but transport wasn't booked until today. There was no way a bed was going to become available on that ward. The transport people were not allowed to just leave me so there were three options open. 1, find a bed on any ward. 2, get checked in to a&e and find my way into the hospital that way. 3, return to Ipswich. The bed coordinator managed to find me a bed on the stroke ward so off we trundle there. Turn up. Lo and behold, they are not expecting me! Thankfully they do have a bed free in a

hospital nights...

...are long! I'm just lying here listening to two other people in my bay chatting. They arrived overnight, along with one other person leaving. It's been a busy night! My transport has been arranged for midday. There is a patient being brought over from Papworth in the morning and I'll be taken back on the return journey. There was no paramedic or nurse available to accompany me on an overnight journey. I would say at least it means I know I get a full uninterrupted night here but that would appear not to be so true!!

travel imminent

We have had confirmation a bed is now avaialbe at addenbrooks. They are just setting up the transfer and vehicle to move Ruthie over. This could take between 4-8 hours for the move to happen.  Prayers being answered as we go through this. Please keep then coming.  We don't know any other details regarding op or visiting.  Only transport is close and she will be moved at some point tonight.

food

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I've found the food here to be a mixed bag. The quality is good. However I'm the last bed in the ward to be served which means that they are often running out by the time they get to me. There is a board above my head that tells them food I can't eat or it will make me ill. Cheese is one of those foods. Today they came to offer me my choices. 'lasagne or cheese and onion pasty?' Do you have anything without cheese? Sorry the casserole has run out. So I had some mash potato and baked beans. Thankfully in some ways I am still in Ipswich so my dad is just down the road and he had brought me a sausage sandwich and my favourite cake. Yum! They tell me it is still possible I will go this evening or overnight, who knows 🙍

waiting well

I'm typing on my phone so expect all kinds of mistakes! When I was three my little brother was born. My grandma came to stay for a while and she baked a cake with me. As soon as the came went in the oven I wanted it out to eat. She told me you needed lots of patience when baking so I got my dolls and teddy's and lined them up ready to be the patients! Now I am a patient that is needing lots of patience while I play the waiting game. I need a bed at Addenbrookes to become free for me to be able to go there, unfortunately no one knows when that might happen so I am trying to learn to wait well. To make the most of my surroundings. To enjoy the company of those on my ward. To spend time taking with God. I'm not finding all of it easy but I know that it is what I have to do, so I'm doing it one nap at a time!